I've been body shamed

 bod·y sham·ing

noun

noun: body shaming

1. 1. 

   the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.

   
   

   
   

   adjective

adjective: body-shaming

1. 1. 

   expressing mockery or criticism about a person's body shape or size.

This is going to be really hard to share but I feel it needs to be out there. I cannot believe how bad body shaming has gotten. We shame ourselves and others. I don't think people understand how damagaing this can be. When you shame yourself you are believing the lies you are telling yourself but when someone shames you it feels as though they are confirming the lies you have told yourselves. 

Ladies, you are beautiful.. Repeat that over and over... YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  We are all different shapes and sizes that's what makes us unique. We need to learn to love ourselves where we are at. Why do we feel the need to bring ourselves and each other down? Let me tell you a story that is going to be really hard to share.

I have 3 boys. My oldest is my Step-Son I've lived with him since he was 4 years old so you can imagine I love this boy just as my own. We have developed a great relationship over the past 10 years and I don't treat him any different then my biological children. Anyways, onto my story.  He was with a group of ADULTS... he was the only child in this group and the adults were making fun of me.. they held up a large pair of underwear and said in front of my son. "These would be perfect for Andrea" and then laughed their heads off at me and told him not to tell me.  Pretty funny huh? Let's laugh at a Mother of 3 who is on the job 24/7, let's laugh at a mother who is tying to raise her boys to respect women, let's laugh at this mother who is up all night long with sick kids, let's laugh at this mom who is constantly putting everyone's needs before her own, let's laugh at this mom who makes sure day in and day out that this boy has the best life, let's laugh at this mom who has stepped up to the plate and raised this boy the best way she can, let's laugh at this mom who hardly gets time away from The kids, let's laugh at this mom who goes to bed at night praying tomorrow she is 1% better then the day before , let's laugh at this mom who takes her free time to gain wisdom from moms who have gone before her,  let's laugh at this mom who has PCOS and has a really hard time losing weight no matter how hard she tries. Come on are you laughing yet? 

Why do we do this? Why do we subject children to this? What are they going to think of themselves if we are saying these things about other people or ourselves? I guarantee I can click post and some of you will encourage me, some of you will say "get over it" and some of you will tell me to just lose the weight and people wouldn't have anything to say at all. I'm not trying to glorify obesity or justify it I am just simply saying why do we have to bring eachother down? Why? What good does that do? Why can't we empower one another? Why can't we choose to just love? Just love eachother where they are at. 

I have to be honest here. I have gone through a lot of crap in my lifetime. I've been hurt, back stabbed, abused, and cheated on (no not from my husband so don't go there) but this hurt. I would rather someone punch me in the face and take the physical pain then hear that from the mouth of child.. a child whom I happen to love and have given him everything in my power to have a good and successful life. I don't know what hurt worse.. hearing that personally or knowing he had to hear it? I want him to respect women and others and know that we might not all look the same but we dang well deserve the same respect. How do comments like that teach young men to respect women? 

I can't take it back.. what's  done is done.. I can't go back and change what he has heard about me.. He didn't even want to tell me but I'm glad he did. He doesn't need to carry that. He told me they said it because they are jealous he said it hurt him and he's sorry if it hurt me. I told him it hurt but that's okay. It gave me an opportunity to talk about self respect as well as body shaming. It's a prime example of how a tongue has no bones but is strong enough to break a heart. 

I hope next time you think about talking bad about yourself or others you think twice. I'm just a mom who's tired, has had a long weekend, and a long week ahead of me. I will continue to put one foot in front of the other, love these children likes there's no tomorrow, and persevere through the next thing thrown my way. Be blessed my friends.